Nothing I say will suffice
Nothing I write, can talk about you
Nothing I do will change truth
Nothing can I do Maa
For I miss thee, not by words
For I know you are here with me
Your blessing, your love is with me
World has changed, the day you left me
A journey everyone has to take, I know
the heart and mind, cannot understand it,
Your Spirit still talks to me, guiding me,
Blessing me and teaching me even now
Your love I still sense for every moment
Your ways may I walk is my efforts,
Love unmatched and infinite for everyone
Selfless and pure and clear ways of thee
Not a easy task I know, yet I will walk
Some dreams of yours are done
Some are being getting done
Many may remain unfulfilled
for the way is not for one, but by many
Yet in all these, I miss you,
knowing well words are extremely limited
For no other ways, I know
Many people are blessed with mother and few truly they know the depth and love of the mother. I on myself have been blessed and loved by two mothers, one who gave birth to me and other the one who was a mother in every possible manner.
Every field of my evolution, development and growth my mothers have played genuine and deep roles, one that cannot be replaced and emulated again in any manner. Words don’t suffice for my heart flows and tears fill eyes for how can I talk about a mother who was never a biological mother but loved me more than that.
She was my fathers youngest sister, unmarried a great devotee of Maa Lalitha Tripura Sundari, born in Mavelikkara. She following a genuine path of Devotional Sadhana, Love, Compassion, Helping people. She carried me like a child, a mother and educated me like a teacher, was a true friend. Her nature was like a universal mother, her innocence and openness for helping people had many times landed her in trouble, yet she carried on the task of loving people in the same manner. Her name was Shanta Kumari, for me she was Appachi (Father’s younger sister in malayalam), but for me she was always Amma in heart. A moment of her getting angry or sad would make me worried for I knew some moment of wrong has happened even though on a path of righteousness it was right in all respects.
She was my first teacher of English and every moment of my journey be it my personal turmoils, education or learning she was my mentor. She initiated me into the habit of reading through books and also was open about discussion at all levels. The beauty of her role in my life can be seen from the fact that few people realized that I was not her son, be it her friends, colleagues, or my school teachers, college professors, or acquaintances.
It was her caring and loving attitude that allowed me to adopt children after my schooling and then the journey of expansive loving people happened which gave a turning point to the life of Sadhana that I tried to live through the teachings of Aghor Baba Pinakadrika a initiation of love and compassion too happened giving a humane aspect to the Sadhana path.
Though the concept of Soul Searchers initiated by me, but she gracefully and lovingly converted the dream into a Trust, and became the Chairperson of Trust, giving every bit of her saving and earning for making it move in the right direction, she took the position not for power or control, who those who know her can vouch for it. In the last 20 years many thoughts became reality, many vision got materialized under her able initiative, guidance and blessing, few those activities have been covered in the Facebook, Website. Even for Dhruva Ayyappa Puja she was the person who always used to initiative for last 15 years.
Everything when things were not going right yet her complete involvement and initiative was to bring things into a state of workable conditions. She used to keep endeavouring to bring a more extended family into the fold as a Family. Even with failing health, she kept taking initiative into areas which was taking toll on her body but her heart of a child kept her going and going, bringing smiles and laughter on faces she met.
She was quite heart broken when a big dream and her true trust and love was broken last year, mentally she struggled to survive it but she moved on in Jan 21, 2015. On her birthday today, I don’t have words to talk about ocean, just a humble prayer that may she remains a mother for me in any life I come.