The beautiful facet of life is love seconded by the Art of cooking. If one knows cooking and loves it then it doesn’t matter the situation or scenario for the food will be there for everyone. Art of Cooking emerges from Love, love that flows through the heart, passes through the veins and enriches the food, bringing that feel and texture that you seek and want to hold on to.
But if you cannot cook or cook with anger, frustration that visitors are coming or relatives are coming then the food is useless for the people and also for the cook for with all the ingredients and nutrients in place it is filled with anger, envy, hatred and frustration.
This is the same case with relationships, you can seek perfect relationship everywhere but then for that seeking you should be perfect first. Else the issue will not change and sooner or later, one will find the same situation in every relations filled with anger, envy, hatred and frustration.
If one cooks with love for oneself with the perfection of a lover, one truly loves oneself. Haven’t we seen people dress up, they keep looking for that perfect look for that perfect moment, and keep working on themselves. Many call it obsession but it is the inner desire of seeking perfection. But cooking is something else all together it is nourishing the inner being, not the look, not the superfluous, but it is unseen subtle element it nourishes. Cooking is not demanding but it is the love that adds the ingredients, best of the cooks who are trained are not trained in institutions but are trained and perfected from heart and intuitions. Good cooks love to cook and eat and also look for people who would love to eat with love.
Similarly relationships are, one has to be comfortable with oneself, one has to truly love oneself, it maybe selfish for many but it is the truth. One has to love oneself for in that love, demand is not there only movements based on intuitions and heart is there and the ways clear up in the most natural manner. When one loves oneself truly, one is easily able to love another and be able to accept another without demands.
The problem is like a bad cook, when one is not able to feel comfortable with oneself, one can never make others feel comfortable with you. Thus a uncomfortable relationship begins wherein both the people are not comfortable with themselves and they are making the relation too uncomfortable to bear. So like a bad cook is forced to eat his own cooking without relishing or is forced to order food from shops/restaurants , similarly relationship works at body and emotional level for few days or months or few years then breaks apart or each individual starts looking for similar satisfaction from other sources. The core is lack of heart connection and the levels of demand on physical and emotional dependencies increase leading to show the true levels of fake love one had for the whole basis was insecurity giving rise to all negative emotions to easily apart a relation which in truth was never there. This sort of fake relation emerges when neither heart nor mind is involved, it is Brain pulsations (māstiska-spāndana) that leads one to look for physical and emotional support held in place by Illusory perceived Consciousness ( Māyā Cittā), so once the reality (tathya) hits one the veil of illusion is shattered but each shattered piece of illusion creates many more for one to pursue.
But when the relationship begins with love, passion and sharing it becomes caring automatically for it emerges from heart; physical and emotional relationship becomes part of heart and the demand is not there for it happens like a flow naturally, so none gives and none takes. Love in truth happens only when its seed sprouts from heart and mind is able to gauge its depth then the consciousness emerges and it connects with Heart giving rise to Heart Consciousness (Mānās Cittā)